Life is full of surprises, thoughts and emotions you never knew you'd stumble upon. There are things you simply cannot control and end up accepting, while there are other instances that you can command, letting your confidence soar.
I took a series of photos while laying with my daughter watching Ms. Rachel trying to rest in between moments. You know those moments where you just arrived home from a days work and need a minute before your next extracurricular activity, meal or family outing.
I notice in this one above it totally captures everything I feel currently. Postpartum & mom brain in full effect as I approach the 2nd half of having a one year old.
I am happy, sad, exhausted, depressed, overwhelmed, overjoyed, inspired, excited, and so many more emotions all at once. Thus I say I feel this photo in particular captures it.
Single motherhood on the surface without getting into too many details is a reality check and a rude awakening into accepting responsibility. When it happens to you it's more gut wrenching then what you may see on tv or through the eyes of others. They say experience is the best teacher and boy will I get a Ph.D in life as a mom moreso than in any other subject lol.
From the problem solving to the managing of the range of emotions one can experience in a day... doing this without a partner is hardest thing to accept. There I got it out and was totally honest with myself. I know I am not alone and I have an authentic community that surrounds my daughter and I, however my currently reality is not my first choice. I accept full responsibility and will do everything in my power to shield my daughter from the difficulties of life. But when trauma hits I will continue to be the pillow of comfort she can rest her head and heart on.
She's such a beautiful creation and I'm honored to be apart of her life as a steward also known as her mother. It's a prestigious role I do not take lightly.
I pray to not fall into a pit of jealousy for those who are more fortunate. Each of our paths are specifically orchestrated to give God the glory in the end.
Now don't read this and think woe is me lol... no.... I'm an artist so I see moments like poetry... and if I could have violins play while you read this, the entire mood would be set.
I just have my moments and it's been a while since I've written in my blog.
Cheers to 1.5 years of motherhood.
Cheers to year 38 coming to a close... 4 months to February.
Cheers to giving myself more credit and that I have actually done an amazing job living so far.
These are my wins.
God is good!!
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